Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Thing of the Day: Avatar


Things that are embarrassing but still sort of awesome: when you are riding the subway alone listening to the Glee soundtrack loudly in your headphones and casually bopping one foot along to the beat and the blatantly homosexual and wonderfully flamboyant purple-coated man next to you taps you on the shoulder and says "Gurlllllll, that's my jaaaaaaaaaam.

I miss you, Glee. Return to my television repertoire immediately. What I was riding the subway to was the show Fuerzabruta, which was really strange, kind of cool, and would have been significantly better if I had dropped a small amount of acid or a similar hallucinogenic material prior to entry to the theater. Watch this clip. It was weird. What wasn't weird was the show that I saw last night, Next to Normal. It's choreographed and set by the guy who did RENT, and like RENT, does an excellent job dealing with depressing and serious subject matters via upbeat musical melodies.

Speaking of upbeat musical melodies--I am obsessed with the new Lady Gaga/Beyonce song. A Lady Gaga/Beyonce collaboration proves two things to me: 1)Everything is right with the musical universe, and 2)Ebony and ivory are finally living in perfect harmony. Also, how did Gaga/Miz B know how I felt about my Blackberry when out on a Thurzday night? And I cannot text you with a drink in my hand eehhhhhhhh.

And finally:

On Monday night, I finally had the opportunity to see Avatar the way it was meant to be seen, in IMAX 3D. It was nothing short of a perfect film experience. James Cameron, how did you create that wonderful wonderful planet? What I would do to frolic in the forests of Pandora and play with larger in than life glow in the dark plants and fly on the backs of magnificent creatures to whom I was connected via braid link. Although in my ideal universe, I think the creatures would be considerably cuter/less terrifying. In Avatar, Cameron does a fantastic job combining fantasy with fact. Is the brutal war on Pandora because they have a magical substance that sells for ten million per kilo ("When someone has something we want, we find a reason to make them our enemy) loosely mocking America's own war on Iraq? Um, duh. The evil lieutenant dude even says "we will fight terror with terror." Does the Na'vi's love and appreciation of their nature and their planet compare quite shockingly with our own races' constant destruction of it for our own purposes? Yeah, clearly, in IMAX 3D. If the movie had absolutely no plot at all and consisted solely of 12 foot tall blue creatures with astonishingly human facial expressions running about and blowing shit up would I still think it was the most visually stunning film I had ever seen? Abso-freaking-lutely. Avatar is, after all, the most expensive movie ever made (it is also the fastest to gross 1 billion dollars in theaters, but that may perhaps be because IMAX tickets cost me an absurdly high $16.75) and every penny poured into the special effects was worth it. I don't know when the last time I saw an IMAX movie was, but Cameron has come a long way. When you are watching Avatar you feel like you are literally in the film. Animated and sparkling flora and fauna jump out at you. You can reach out and nearly touch the lovable blue aliens really well-built torsos. When predators launch and explosions startle, the theater audibly gasps. Despite the two and a half hour running time of Avatar, I was fully engrossed for every single second.

That being said (spoiler alert) there is no way those Na'vi critters would...mate...exactly like humans do. Come on, make out scene leading to wake up in the morning spooning scene. You could have been a little more creative. Perhaps some tail binding action? Maybe some sparks flying from the tree of life? Disappointing, J.Cam. Additionally, I would have liked to see more baby Na'vi. We had a few quick glimpses towards the end and they were remarkably cute. Maybe throw in a few dozen more in the DVD version?

Overall, this movie left me thinking that humans kind of suck. For example, on Pandora, a woman would never attack the McDonald's drive thru employee because they were out of McNuggets. It should be noted that I found out about this incident via a friend gchatting me that "it reminded him of something I would do." Said friend also sent me this gem about a woman who stole an ambulance to drunk-drive to her boyfriends' house because she "really wanted to see him" and "had a pretty good time" doing it for similar reasons. I don't thank my friends enough on this blog.

As you can see, I have not done much in 2010 thus far other than see plays and movies. The reason for this is three-fold. Firstly, it is really freaking cold in New York. I've been setting up interviews for a job in Chicago, and am really not sure I will follow through due to hatred of such weather. Secondly, my dentist, who is a good family friend, removed one of my wisdom teeth on a whim the other day because once I graduate, my mother's phenomenal dental insurance will no longer cover such procedures and I "have an abnormally small mouth, so we should really do this as a precaution." Spare the jokes, and thanks, ghetto Russian medical practices. And thirdly, I have all but given up my social life via New Years resolutions. Clearly I don't expect these resolutions to last long at all (I'm thinking week after sorority rush at Vanderbilt), but I am giving it my best shot as long as I'm trapped toothless in 24 degree weather.

Till then, a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon and Sex and The City season 4 on demand (how I love being home).

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