Thing of the Day: Abbreviations

Today Momma Bogo sent me a text that read like so:

"Hi hun plz call gma she has smth 4 u. XO Luv u!"

This got me thinking about several things. Firstly--Momma B. You have a smartphone. You can type up to 180 characters into a single message to me. I understand hun, plz, and even luv (although I am slightly offended, since we all know luv =/= LOVE--thankssss, mom), but smth? Smth is not an appropriate abbreviation for the word it is meant to signify, which, by the way, is "something." I spent nearly one full minute trying to figure out why my grandmother had a Smith for me and what exactly a Smith is--the cocktail? The name of a beloved brunch spot on 3rd avenue? After 60 seconds of dumbfounded contemplation I realize mother has simply left out the o-e-i-n-g and given me less than half of the letters of a word to work with and my grandmother has something for me. Duh.

Something turns out to be a card I have to sign for a package she is bringing to the long lost relatives in Mother Russia. Borrrrrrrring. All that deciphering and not even a bottle of wine Ruski vodka (common grandparent to grandchild gift in the Bogo fam), let alone a handful of crisp bills.

This disappointing experience led to me to ponder on abbreviations--namely, those I find appropriate and use in everyday conversation on a regular basis, and those I despise and immediately judge people for.

A short list:

Fav. abbrevs:

-Fav. Not to be confused with fave, which just kind of sucks
-Abbrevs. Because abbreviations just has far too many syllables

-Ush (pronounced you-zhe), as in usual. Hard to spell, but comes in very handy

-Obv. Not to be confused with OBVI wish I hate hate hate and should be limited to the realm of 13 year olds with Blackberries and excessive amounts of Facebook comments.

-Miz. As in, miserrrry and death.

-WTF.

-OMG.

-BTW (pronounced bee tee dubz)

-Eva, neva, whateva, and any replacement of "er" or "ar" with just a. Gangsta.

Un-fav. abbrevs.

-LOL, LMAO, ROFL. I hate people who say LOL or LMAO instead of just "Haha." And ROFL? Please. You are not only a poor abbreviator but a liar since clearly you are NOT Rolling On The Floor Laughing and rather, you are typing to me.

-Ur. Just type your. Just do it.

-Ure. So much worse than Ur. Where did that e come from. What's the point of abbreviating if you tack on extra letters as you please?

-Plz. That doesn't look or sound even a little bit like please. Maybe pills. But please? I justtt don't see it.

-2, 4, and any use thereof (especially 2gether 4ever)

Just a brief compilation. Now, in full words, what in the world have I been doing for the past two weeks? Weeeeeeellll, other than the usual eating and drinking in excess I have:

1-Gotten my first post-graduate life interview. YAY. I might not have to rely on Google Adwords via my blog and personal checks via my mother to get myself through life after all.

2-Taken up several new television interests, namely, Glee, Bored To Death, and a rekindled love affair with Californication and Dexter. Also eagerly buidling up a TiVo queue of Modern Family. Between the first three episodes of the first two, a teenager has gotten pregnant, a crazy wife has plotted to take said teenagers baby and pass it off on her own, hot men have danced on stage and on football fields, a 30 year old guy has accidentally hooked up with a 16 year old girl (at St.Ann's, no less! Fellow Brooklynites rejoice--we are finally being recognized in television!), and two straight male best friends have gotten colonics together. Ah, fall TV.

3-And of course, eaten several meals worth noting. I won't bore you with the details but can't pass up a brief description of brunch at Marche Artisan Foods (croissant french toast with honey butter and cinnamon, goat cheese mushroom and potato crepes with warm gruyere sauce, smoked salmon and creme fraiche open faced sandwich , warm apple crisp a la mode, pomegranate mimosas).

4-There are birthday cupcakes in the office today. Crap. Till next time.

Thing of the Day: Coney Island

This weekend, my best friend and I took a day trip to Coney Island. For those who don't know, Coney Island is this beach in Brooklyn that in the early 1900's consisted of beach resorts that were stomping grounds for the rich and famous, an amusement park that was home to the first carousel on earth and America's oldest still-standing roller coaster, and the world-famous Nathan's Hot Dog Stand. It has since become the most ghetto place I would step foot in without bulletproof vest (except for the time I fell asleep on the 2/3 and ended up on 135th street, and the time I thought it would be fun to day drink and go to the Bronx Zoo).

When you live in New York and want to go to the beach without turning it into a weekend extravaganza, you are very limited in options--you can either take the LIRR to Long Beach and pay for a day pass, or you can hop on the B,Q, D or F and venture to Coney Island (fo freeeee), where you might either be intimidated and grossed out or have the best day ever. If you are at all awesome, it will probably be the latter. Coney Island is fascinating in that it combines such a plethora of cultures, from a nice Latin American man we overheard telling his girlfriend that he was going to "leave a cockprint on her forehead," to octogenarian Russian couples who will push you out of the way to get prime real estate for their towels on the beachfront, to the group of Italian boys we met, who were employed as electricians and spent 45 minutes explaining the meaning of their tattoos to us, explaining to us that they couldn't swim because "muscle doesn't float" and trying to engage us in games of truth or dare where we would end up kissing them. In addition to a cast of beach-goers that if written into a movie would certainly win either an Oscar or a Razzie, the beach itself is actually pretty nice if you don't mind the occasional broken beer bottle, the water is warm and calm, and shit, we live in the greatest city on Earth, we can't expect to have EVERYTHING.

Rachel and I bought large Coronas from men selling them out of plastic bags on the beach front, gorged ourselves on delicious Russian pastries, corn on the cob and soft ice cream, and wandered through Astroland buzzed, sunburnt, and happy.

Other weekend highlights included: an Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations marathon which culminated with a 20minute interview and cooking session with Ferran Adria of El Bulli (if you are not familiar with El Bulli, I will leave you to read this and know that I will gladly give you my first born child, or my second one if you'd prefer a middle-child-syndrome kid (more complacent), to be taken there), the best thin-crust pizza and lobster salad I have ever consumed at Vento on Friday afternoon, an awesome roof party and open bar celebration on Friday night, a day drinking marathon overlooking Central Park Saturday, and a fabulous Sunday evening which consisted of applying aloe vera and concealer to my sunglasses sunburn and being blown away by this week's True Blood, pleasantly surprised by the second episode of Hung, and extremely amused by the premiere of Entourage.

If anyone could recommend some hobbies that don't consist of eating, drinking, and watching TV, throw them my way.

UPDATE: OMG, it's National French Fries Day! If you are in the East Village, please do yourself a favor and go to try the best French fries in the city. I myself will not be attending Pomme Frites due to an embarrassingly-large-almost-full cone consumed there Friday night, but I will for sure make a pits top at what is apparently the second best French fry joint in NYC, conveniently located 4 blocks from my office: Pasti's.

UPDATE Part 2: Seriously...any new hobbies...anyone?