Thing(s) of the Day: Blogs Part II, and "Regular People"

First things first. Two of my nearest and dearest friends and roommates have started their own blogs! Although this has sparked a lot of BBM questioning on how to make things bold and linked and colorful and et cetera, I couldn't be happier to help them and encourage you all to check them out. Alex of ArtsyVille is blogging about (duh) the arts in her favorite cities of residence: Nashville, New York, and Miami and gracing the blogosphere with her book, movie, and food reviews, while Kelley of Kelley+Kanon is running a photo blog with pictures of her many travels--she is much cooler than me and sailed all over the world from Europe to Asia to Africa this past semester, and has been entertaining our roommates by snapping really artsy and gorgeous photos of us over the past few weeks. The picture above (in Mauritius, Africa) and those of the Music City Barbeque and Beer Festival in my past post were taken with her super sweet Canon.

Although it's kind of creepy/voyueristic that half of our suite now puts things on the internet for all to see, and I really don't want others to start thinking of us as "those girls that REAALLLY like the internet," I am so excited to be sharing this with two of my best friends! Has anyone seen the Julie+Julia preview (I say preview in leiu of movie because the movie looked so boring/chick-flickish that I don't expect any of my fine-tasted friends to have viewed it) where Amy Adams' obnoxious-friend-with-drinking-problem-character (life goal if being Chelsea Handler fails: star as obnoxious-best-friend-with-drinking-problem-character in B list movies. Fine, I'll take C list) says "Oh my god! Showtime bought my blog for a mini-series!"? (Excuse that horrid punctuation. I really don't know how to work the ! " " ? trifecta). Anyway-Showtime. If you're listening. ALEX NIKKI AND KELLEY ARE AVAILABLE FOR MINI-SERIES. We do really funny things, are less trashy than the Kardashian sisters, are now 21 so can legally be documented binge drinking, and have varied interests we would like to talk about on camera. We adore both Weeds and Californication, and even have a Dexter poster (can we talk Dexter with BABY please?!) in our living/dining room. Put us on TV. ASAP.

That being said, can we talk about this picture?


The above photograph of a "model" with an ab roll was featured in September's Glamour and the media and bloggers alike are freaking out about how awesome it is that a "regular" person was featured in the fashion section of a major U.S magazine. No offense, regular people, but I for one am not pleased. I get to see regular people every single day. Whether I like it or not, regular people accompany me on subways and buses, in restuarants and bars, libraries and doctor's offices, and in mirrors throughout the world. The world is suffering from a widespread epidemic of normal-sized, ordinary, not-that-attractive regular people, which we come into contact with all the time. When I pay $3.99 to flip through the pages of a glossy magazine (I know, I know...I should just get a subscription and save 80% off cover price blah blah blah but I don't, so...) I do not want to see regular people. I want to see bronzed, skinny Amazon women who inspire me to put down that candy bar and get my ass to spin, pronto. If I wanted to see "ab flab" I would simply look out my window. We shouldn't have to suffer because some women are so insecure with their own bodies that they demand imperfect humans like themselves to be featured in magazines just so they feel better about their self-esteem. What's next? Shitty actors being picked over good ones in movies so that struggling thespians stop cutting themselves? Clumsy ballerinas to inspire all us klutzes out there? Half-frozen restaurant meals because you can't cook? No thank you, world. I am not perfect. I would like for my entertainment to be.

Another note about my friends' blogs--they are both much nicer human beings than I, so even if you are offended and flabbergasted by my opinions, you probably won't be by theirs.

Things I am looking forward to this week: free dinner (thanks, expert Jewery in acquiring coupons) at Zumi followed by the Weeds finale tonight, my first day at Universal Music tomorrow, Shakespeare in Centennial Park (because I didn't make it to Shakespeare in Central Park in Manhattan) on Thursday, the Wine to Five event ($5 wines and appetizers for ladiez) at The Wine Loft also on Thursday, and the FIRST TAILGATE, ahem, football game of senior year on Saturday. I couldn't find Western Carolina University on a map, nor do I know if it is in North or South Carolina or some new Carolina colony called West Carolina, but I will very gladly drink to their large bulky men playing ours.

Cheers!

Thing Of The Day: Blogs

Several months ago, inspired by my lovely friend Stacy/Sloane, I decided I absolutely positively had to start a blog. I excitedly signed up for Blogspot, chose a moderately clever name, and since I was living in Copenhagen at the time, decided to start writing about my travels and the cultural differences i encountered in Scandinavia.

I put the link to the blog on my Facebook, posted a total of seven times about my drinking experiences in Europe, and shortly received a concerned and appalled email from my mom. It read as follows:

Privet, Kuzik ("Hi muffin" in Russian),

Nu kak u tebya delishki ("How are things?")? Did you get your grades for the midterm? I heard from Galina that you are going to Prague this weekend? Good for you! Enjoy your time in Europe and see as many places as you can see. This is your life time opportunity to see Europe.

Now on a very serious topic, and you might get mad, but I think I need to talk to you about that. Ira (my aunt) read your blog (an I think you could've send a link to it to me too), and it said that you left your wallet in the bar because you were too drunk! It is not good… I told you to start counting signs that you are developing an alcohol addiction. Now it might seems that all of them are funny anecdotes and you will be in denial at first, but look closely. The bruises that I saw on you, origin of which is unknown to you, forgotten wallet, and probably a lot of other facts that I don’t know. You get me worried. You get drunk more easily, and lower tolerance is one of the symptoms. You should not drink so eagerly and so much. I personally knew women who drunk often in their 20s and at first they were ok, and were dead by their 30s. And I also knew a woman who started drinking heavily in her 30s and in 5 years became a low class prostitute. And I personally know many less dramatic but still very bad examples, like ______'s mom. I want you to reconsider your drinking habits.

How is your new boy? What phase your relationship are on now?

I love you and miss you!

-mom

Alas, my life as a blogger ended and my life as an alcoholic began. This time will be different, for several reasons:

1. I will ensure that my mom does not get ahold of this URL. Perhaps I preemptively will block in on her computer to be positive this will be the case.
2. I am home in New York for the summer, and working a full time internship for a legitimate adult company, thus I am going out about 5 days per week less than I did last semester. Since I will not spend the vast majority of my time drunk/hungover and instead will spend it sober at a computer, I will have far more time to blog.
3. I am setting rules. The title of this blog, the daily, implies that I will be posting daily. Clearly this is too much to ask, and I will set the very reasonable guideline of five days per week. Additionally, this blog has a theme. I will be posting about the Thing of the Day. These Things will range from news pieces, to anecdotes, to physical things: clothing, accessories, electronics, decor, etc. I will also occasionally be highlighting actual blogs as Things of the Day. Shit might get crazy. Well see. So after much delay:

Friday, June 4th's thing of the day is weblogs. How genius! Ever since I acquired a full time internship, I've really come to appreciate blogs. I am reminded of that feeling when you have had a really shitty/really awesome day and all you want to do on your way home is tap the person sitting next to you on the shoulder and tell them all about it. Blogging is like that, but you get to tap ANYONE. And if they decide they don't give a crap, instead of telling you to f off, they will simply say the words to their computer screen and go back to Facebook stalking their ex boyfriend's little sister's best friend's cousin.

Here's to blogs. A few I'm currently following:

Today's Big Thing (inspiration for this blog)

Cupcakes and Cashmere (this girl has the best clotheeessss)

Swank Heights (her too)

The Daily Beast Cheat Sheet (the best way to read the news)

MoneSplye (my two Fratty Mcfrat friends traveling through Europe. Hi-lar-ious.

The Prose of Krose (my co-intern/Elle Woods twin's musings on sales and happy hours)

Perez Hilton (duh).

Back tomorrow with a considerably shorter Thing of the Day. Happy Friday. Time to party. If you're reading this, mom, time to party in moderation.