Thing of the Day: The iPad

It's been a long time since I thought about my iPhone. We parted in the most devastating of ways. The story is tragic and hard to tell, but for the sake of full disclosure: it was May of 2009 when, two connections into the three connecting flights that would take me from Copenhagen to New York, I found myself in the Berlin airport starving and against all will, ordered two double cheeseburgers and large fries only to find that the McDonald's in the Berlin airport (and, as I would soon find, all establishments serving food in the Berlin airport), does not accept credit cards. Okay. I could deal with that. Hold my order, unfriendly German airport employees, as I go to the Currency Exchange window, reach for my iPhone to use my wonderful currency converter application and determine how many of my leftover Danish Kroner coins I would need to convert to Euro coins to purchase any from of sustenance, and...

...realize that I have left my iPhone on the (long gone) plane. And to make things worse, the German Currency Exchange does not accept foreign coins, only notes, which I lack, or my credit card, with a minimum exchange of 50 dollars, which, although it would have bought me a lot of double cheeseburgers, would have certaintly caused Margarita to confiscate said credit card faster than she did upon my arrival in the states (~18 hours). Oops. Hungry, iPhone-less, missing Scandinavia and with four pieces of incredibly heavy and bulky carry-on luggage, I moved on to layover number two, blocking out the memory of that awful day forever.

Until now. I love my Blackberry. I love it almost as much as these people love their Blackberries, (shoutout, Stace!) I would never even consider switching over to an iPhone as a primary cellular device (mine (RIP) was for utilized exclusively for the crucial purposes of taking snazzy pictures, playing extensive games, and utilizing the iCalendar)--but I think I am ready to commit myself to another Apple product with my whole heart and iTunes library--I need an iPad.

For those of you who believe that an iPad in any way resembles a Kindle or a Nook, you are wrong. Kindles and Nooks have made it clear that they are evil robots promoted by genius marketing. Anyone who knows me at all knows I will never have anything to do with the Nook or the Kindle (case in point, frantic BBM from recently turned 21-friend: "Nikkkkkkkkkkkki!!! My dad got me a KINDLE for my birthday! What do I doooooooooo??!"), ever. The iPad is a different story. Despite having a really poor and un-clever name (really, Steve Jobs? I preferred Apple Tablet), it is quite possibly the most useful and wonderful Apple gadget of all time. If you do not take my word for it, watch the video. Although Stephen Colbert just pulled one out mid-Grammys, the wondrous device is not available to us common folk until mid March. Wah. Although (glass half full), that gives me plenty of time to watch the video on repeat and convince Margarita why I need to own one.

In non-gadget related news: being back at school for my last semester ever is good/weird. On the one hand, everything is exactly the same, and on the other, it is so remarkably different. After a less than perfect fall semester, and a non-ideal start to this one, I have decided to make the absolute best of my final one by focusing exclusively on the things that matter and spending less time on those that don't or in the long run, won't. In the past few weeks, I have really tried to focus on that which makes me the happiest--I love 4 out of my 5 classes (Mass Media, Exploring Film Soundtrack, Fiction Workshop, and World Jewish Communities), have gotten a volunteering gig at the Vanderbilt Children's Hospital (I start next week and can't wait, although the idea of working with long-term and permanent patients is scary and devastating), have been taking fitness classes for the first time since this summer (I spent roughly a third of tonight's hot yoga class in child's pose on the floor trying not to pass out), and of course, eating my way through Nashville with my friends (brunch at Allium and dinner at Cha Chah this week were exquisite).

This week, I am looking forward to: my best friend's birthday (and subsequent dinner at Sambuca...mmm), (AH TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ALBUM OF THE YEAR YOU GOOOOOOO GIRL), the best TV show of all time coming back for a final season, (LOSTLOSTLOSTLOST---I would like for this to be a separate post entirely so will refrain from going into detail about my feelings/predictions for season 6), the Superbowl (I don't like sports perse but I like organized drinking activities/TV, so this will do), more potential snow days for Nashville (it snowed a grand total of 6 inches this weekend and the entire city has shut down due to there being approximately 4 snowplows total in all of Tennessee), and it being February, which is so superior to January, and contains two of my favorite holidays (Valentine's Day and Mardi Gras) in one weekend. I plan on celebrating Valentine's Day by watching the movie Valentine's Day and eating copious amounts of chocolate and wine. I plan on celebrating Mardi Gras by roadtripping to New Orleans with everyone I know at Vanderbilt and an engaging a Hurricane, Hand Grenade, and bead infused weekend of debauchery. I love New Orleans and haven't visited since Halloween 2008 and can't wait to see my Tulane bestie (hi, Emma), eat street food, and wear costumes for absolutely no reason.

Oh, and I GOT A NEW COMPUTER! Farewell forever, Inspiron...may you rest in my bottom drawer along with coasters I steal from bars, business cards from people I will never call, old Scattergories score sheets (high point of the semester thus far: playing a 12 person, liquor accompanies, game of Scattergories before we all went out mid-snowstorm on Friday night), phones/cameras that have died and are now resting in electronic limbo, assorted candies, and other things that I really should just throw out/recycle but due to some strange hoarding tendencies, can't bear to part ways with quite yet.

Thing of the Day: Road Trips

First things first--I was so right about balloon boy! Duh, world. Publicity stunt central. Children are amongst my least favorite things in the world but even I can admit that they are not that foolish. Shame on the blog-reader who BBMed me "you are a heartlesss biatch" in reference to my correct thoery. I am not heartless--I'm logical.

Second things--they're releasing a Barnes & Noble version of the Kindle called the Nook. For those of you who are not aware, I find Kindles despicable and utterly useless tools and judge all those who use them. Which is why I clearly have several thoughts about this manner, namely:

1)Why oh why are people releasing Kindle competitors? Are Kindles so popular that B&N feels the need to further infiltrate the market with a Kindle alternative? I would like to conduct a survey that will help me determine what percentage of Vanderbilt students own Kindles, so please, if you are a Kindler, let me know via comment, gchat, or smoke signal.

2)Despite my disdain of e-books in general, the Nook is definitely a much better name than the Kindle. At least Nook makes one think of curling up in a corner with a dog-eared paperback and a cup of tea. So while I'm sure Nooks aren't cozy at all and rather hard pieces of metal, the terminology at least makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. What does kindle even mean?

3)My dislike for the Kindle/Nook can only be rivaled by my admiration and dare I say love for the new MacBooks, also released today. Could these be any crisper? Absolutely not. Unfortunately, I am still twiddling away on my Dell Inspiron with webcam physically attached to the outside and lack of crisp resolution, iChat, and fun photo programs. In addition to my PC weighing somewhere between 8 and 10 pounds (who am I kidding? I don't know what 8 to 10 pounds weighs like...but I know the damn thing leaves aggressive red welts when I carry it on my shoulder) I'm becoming resentful that I can't use widgets, take photobooth pics, and drag and drop documents directly on the screen. Momma Bogo. Chrismakkuh. ASAP. Perhaps a Thanksgiving gift? It needs to happen.

And now onto the real reason for this post--fall break! In T minus 2 hours I am free free free from the land of internships and analysis papers and off to Charleston, SC, for a four day beach adventure. I am driving with 3 friends and couldn't be more excited because I love road trips. Other than the undeniable things that funny things always happen on road trips (the time we were driving to Nashville and went an hour and a half out of our way to check out a venue on the Diners Drive-ins and Dives list, the time we were driving to New Orleans a creepy man followed us for no less than 5 miles pretending to pleasure himself at our vehicle--although I might have been the only one that found that funny) they are an excuse to do two of my favorite things: 1)eat fattening foods with great frequency and 2)behave like a small child (liscence plate games, stories, singalongs, etc) and we will be doing much of both on the nine hour journey. We're making a quick overnight stop in Asheville, NC, which in addition to being the cutest town ever (their tourism site offers activities such as fall crafts, fall harvest adventures, and scenic fall foliage motorcycle rides) apparently has the most head shops per square foot in the South (goodies) and a large variety of outdoor eateries. Fellow food enthusiast road trips have already selected the venue at which we will be eating our North Carolinian breakfast before we head down to Folly Beach for a weekend of debaucherous beachy entertainment.

....T minus 1.5.

Thing of the Day: Speed Dating

I know that I write about encounters on the subway rather frequently, but when you're coming from Brooklyn, you really come across all kinds. This morning's offenders:

1. A yuppie businessman who would have been almost too attractive if he hadn't been reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money--That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not...on his Kindle! This choice of commute self-help book would have been offensive enough had it come in original hardcover form, but in electronic version, it was almost nauseating. The rich teach their kids not to invest almost $400 in the Kindle. Read my blog instead.

2. An average, normal, non-gothic looking chick that had an "I <3 fangs" pin clipped to her otherwise totally normal outfit. Why, oh why, would you <3 fangs? I don't think I entirely get the vampire craze. Sure, I would follow Robert Pattinson around New York City and even to his scenes in New Jersey (crossing the GW bridge=true love, R.P) anyday, and yes, I avidly watch and obsess over True Blood (MaryAnn what the f are youuuuu), but that's because R.Patz is gorgeous, and True Blood is captivating. Not because I think that there is anything moderately attractive about sexual intercourse with the undead. I still tear up when I get my blood drawn, I do not need someone sucking it from my neck thank you very much. Why, oh why would you "<3 vampires?" They are pale and cold and can't even spend the day with you after sleeping over. Another classic case of nice girls being drawn to bad boys. Ladies, if the man needs to bite you to get off, he's just not that into you.

Subway delinquents aside, the real reason for this post. Speed dating. I don't know how my friend Cayla got on this subject, but as summer is quickly drawing to a close and I prepare to go back to my beloved Na$hville, I have realized that I will avidly miss New York wierdos. Nashville has its own brand of bizarre human, of course ("But what I really wanna do is sing country music"), but you never meet people who quite match the degree of strangeness you'll find in New York. And what better way to engage in meeting unusual and interesting people than via blind date? Or 30?

Amidst g-chatting our internships away (just kidding! I love my internship. And not just because someone in my office might be reading this, because its really a rather excellent place to work and (shameless self promotion, sorry) they let me write this awesome blog), Cayla and I somehow ended up Googling "speed dating NYC" and finding almost 3 million results. Among possible replacements for our usual happy hour next week:

1. Jewish Singles Speed Dating. I love Jews. I love the Village Pourhouse. I love complimentary beverages. And I get to "enjoy up to 15 5 minute dates!"

2. Hot or Not Speed Dating. Description: " Looks aren't everything, but initial attraction is definitely key to the beginning of any lasting relationship. Ever been to a speed dating event and upon arriving and giving the other daters a once-over, you've found yourself discreetly running out? We've built in a "quality control" element into this speed dating event. Interested daters MUST create a profile with a photo and join the event "waitlist" to be considered for approval. Disclaimer: This event is not for the "thin-skinned" and the only guarantee is that 3 out of 5 single judges found attendees submitted pictures to be attractive." Submitting our photos to this would probably be a good way to boost our self confidence. Or cause us to descend into a self-pitying black hole.

3. "Size Matters" Speed Dating for Tall Singles. Despite the fact that they will be "measuring at the door," this would be a really fun event to attend with our shorter friends. We are considering calling all of our tiniest amigas, putting them in their tallest shoes, and demanding admission.

4. 50 First Dates. At this event at M1-5 Lounge (I have never heard of M1-5 Lounge but their website is the horrible kind that places techno music as you try to find happy hour prices), we would have the chance to meet 50 people for 2 minutes each. Despite very seriously considering both the Speed Date a NY Fireman and Cougars&Cubs: Young Men and Older Women events, we decided this was probably the event for us for several reasons. Firstly--it will give us the chance to meet a maximum amount of New York wierdos. And secondly--2 minutes is just short enough for us to have a little fun with this. Over the course of the day, fellow g-chatters have come up with some excellent questions to ask our 2 minute dates. Some highlights:
-"If you could be one ninja turtle, which would you be?"
-"If you could perform any Harry Potter spell on a regular basis, which would you choose?"
-"If you were a cannibal and got the chance to eat any person, dead or alive, who would you choose?"

At $29 for event registration (includes a free drink) + the 4 or so paid drinks we will definitely need to consume (~$20 at happy hour), this experience could round out to one dollar even per bizarre encounter. I've certainly invested in worse.

Thing of the Day: The Kindle

This morning on the subway, among the company of your usual batch of commuting crazies (aggressive Asian lady ready to push you into the tracks for a seat, African man singingly intensely to himself under his breath, couple that makes out at his stop so aggressively that I am pretty convinced he was leaving for the army rather than the office, thirteen year olds sharing I-pod headphones and texting each other ("OMG do u thnk ppl know we r txting each otha?" "Hehe obvi bcuz we keep riting stuffz + looking @ each otha + LMAOing" "ROFL")), I looked over at the seemingly normal girl with cute shoes sitting next to me and found her to be using an overly large mobile device. My Blackberry 8830 is pretty large, but this thing was the size of my head. Upon second glance, I saw that it was not an iPhone on steriods after all--it was a Kindle.

I am normally technology's number one fan. I read the Apple blog regularly, nearly peed my pants when this baby came out, can name my favorite ten iPhone apps quicker than I can name my favorite ten friends, and will respond to any message sent to my Blackberry--text, email, or BBM--within ten minutes. But the Kindle is absolutely where I draw the line. This electronic reading device angers me for several reasons, the most important of which I will list here:

1. I love books. I love the feel of cracking open a new book, rifling through the crisp pages, reading the front panel for a summary, checking the back to see if the author is hot. I love folding down pages of the book where a sentiment rings particularly true or a ridiculous thing occurs. I love organizing my books in order of like on my bookshelf. This impostor robot book can be used for none of the above purposes.

2. It looks dumb. Kindles look really stupid. They are ugly and gray and nobody can judge you on the subway based on your choice of New Moon vs. Freakonomics.

3. It costs $359! Thus the only reason one would purchase one--for convenience and to save money on books--is eliminated. According to the Washington Post, the median number of books read by Americans last year was 9. (27% of Americans hadn't read a single book last year. America--WTF). At 9 books per year and an average of $15 per book, it would take the average American 2.5 years just to pay for the Kindle. You will probably drop and break that shit before it pays for itself. And that's not even counting the cost of books--Kindle books cost approximately $10, so you would have to read over 60 books for the cost to make up for what you are "saving." 6 and a half years of looking like a douche, here you come!

Looking away from the girl with cute shoes, I noticed TWO more people in my subway cart with Kindles, and immediately proceeded to judge them. I would rather sit next to the African singer, beating an invisible drum on his knees and shaking his head to his muttered melody, participate in a three way text session with the 13 year olds ("OMG! Kindle sux" "Ugh tot" "WTF who r u?!"), risk death by beating the Asian grandmother to a seat, and be the Deanna to the makeouters' Jon+Kate than sit next to the Kindle user.

And she WAS reading New Moon. Judged.

P.S: Whoever said sex sells was right. Or maybe my its just my friends--I know you sluts read this, I post one picture of a burger blow job and all of a sudden you're all commenting? I better see equal enthusiasm on my posts about books. Oh and, ADJ, you're right as usual--Wikipedia places the average at 5.1-5.9.