Showing posts with label Snooki. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Snooki. Show all posts

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Thing of the Day: 2010 (Twenty-Ten)


Full disclosure: as I write this, I am watching Jersey Shore in my Snuggie, which is actually not even a Snuggie--it is the significantly more ghetto Costco version of a Snuggie, and a disgusting mustard yellow shade. When I came home for Christmas break, I found this and a similarly ugly colored forest green faux-Snuggie resting comfortably on the section of my living room couch that is usually reserved for snacks, and ever since then my sister and I have been parading around in our new garments (these "Snuggies" also have hoods. As far as I know, real Snuggies lack hoods, which is really very silly since hooded Snuggies allow us to not only be warm and comfortable but also pretend we are dementors/Death Eaters and chase each other around the house screaming normalcies such as "Expelliarmus!" and "Give-me-the-remote-us!" If I were Snuggie Inc. I would definitely implement a hooded version. Also perhaps one that comes with feet. Although that would just be a onesie...). Snuggies aside, I'm really proud of all the characters on the Jersey Shore, especially Snooki, who really seems to have matured since she got punched in the face by a stranger. I hope she succeeds in her mission to find love with a Guido on the shore. I've been thinking lately that Snooki would be an ideal character for a reality dating show. It could be like I Love New York, but Snooki is considerably kla$$ier than New York will ever be, and I'm sure she would not have to repeat her show for a second season. When I googled "Snooki Dating Show" on a complete whim I was shocked to find that Snooki totally agrees with me. Although I was thinking of something titled "Snooki's Got Nooki" or "Nooki for Snooki," and her self-chosen potential title is the considerably inferior "Snookin' for Love." Dear MTV: If you read my blog, credit, please.

A few other thoughts:

1. New Years 2010 was...interesting (And its Twenty-Ten, not Two Thousand Ten. Come on, people). After a mediocre actual New Years Eve that culminated in having to take the subway uptown because we couldn't get a cab in the 15 degree weather, we woke up in our Times Square hotel, looked around at the confetti and glitter and eager bright eyed tourists, and decided to try again. We acquired brand new 2010 glasses (bravo to the genius who designed the 2010 glasses...before seeing them we were very concerned with how the eye holes would be placed now that it was no longer 2-eye-eye-something, but, big success!), wore them for the entirety of our family style Italian meal at Carmine's, and just when we thought the evening would culminate in wine and resolution-writing in bed, some friends saved the day by inviting us to Greenhouse. New Years Take 2 was considerably more successful, thus the only resolution we wrote was: In Twenty Ten, if at first you don't succeed, pick yoself up and try again (you can dust it off and try agaiiinnnnnnn...I miss you Aaliyah). Still working on other New Years' resolutions, but they include gems such as working out more/eating less, wasting smaller amounts of time reading strangers' blogs/StumblingUpon/other internet activities, making post graduate life plans, finding useful hobbies, running half marathons, being nicer to people, etc etc.

2. Why is Avatar 3D IMAX sold out every time I try to go see it? I am completely incapable of planning to see a movie a full day in advance, so nearly every day for the past week I have woken up and checked showtimes for the one movie theater in Brooklyn playing Avatar in IMAX and found it to be sold out every single day. Can the rest of New York City really be that much better at planning than I? All I want to do is see these blue creatures everyone has been raving about so I can blog about it, but the world seems to be against me. FOMO, Avatar.

3. Staying in Times Square for the past few days (thanks, Lauren!) has really got me thinking about tourists and tourism. As a New Yorker, I hate New York tourists. I hate their stupid I <3 style="font-style: italic;">The City. But I really don't mind other tourists. In fact, I think I like other tourists. I can only assume this is because when I am in other places, I too am a tourist, but in reality other tourists just seem more intelligent than those in New York. I was really curious about what the most visited tourist sites in the world were, so I consulted my best friend, Google who informed me that NYC, which I for some reason thought to be #1 (please consult picture on right hand corner of blog), is #5. Additionally, I have only been to 4 of the top 10 most visited cities (#1 Paris, #2 London, #5 New York, #10 Rome). I wonder what it is that drives so many people to go to the same places, and who it is that decides The Eiffel Tower or Times Square or The Colosseum is that which should be seen. But whatever it is, I would like to be a part of it. Bangkok, Hong Kong, and Shanghai, here I comeee.

4. Speaking of New York, I just finished a wonderful novel, Let The Great World Spin, by Colum McAnn, and in one paragraph it summed up exactly how I feel about the city: "New York had a way of doing that. Every now and then the city shook its soul out. It assailed you with an image, or a day, or a crime, or a terror, or a beauty so difficult to wrap your mind around that you had to shake your head in disbelief. He had a theory about it. It happened, and re-happened, because it was a city uninterested in history. Strange things occured precisely because there was no necessary regard for the past. It had no need to belief in itself as a London, or an Athens, or even a signifier of the New World, like a Sydney, or a Los Angeles. No, the city couldn't care less about where it stood. He had seen a t-shirt once that said: New York F*ckin' City. As if it were the only place that ever existed and the only one that ever would." Oh, New York. Every time I think I am over you, you reel me right back in.

5. For those who are not interested in great books, a great movie: I just saw Up In The Air. It made me think, a lot. Additionally, George Clooney is beautiful. If none of this convinces you, it is currently the highest rated movie on Rotten Tomatoes, which is the only real place to criticize movies. Go see it.

6. And finally, or those who are uninterested in great movies, great TV/great eats.
Double food porn tonight: The menu that I'm currently obsessing over, and the premiere of the White House episode of Iron Chef America on The Food Network (Bobby Flay + Mario Batali + Michelle Obama?! Leaving on the TIVO queue forever).

As usual, this blog post failed to have a concentration. So for new beginnings' sake, Thing of the Day: 2010.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Thing of the Day: The Jersey Shore


First things first. A bunch of pretty excellent things have happened over the course of the past few weeks. For matters of organization, I will divide these into city categories:

Nashville, TN: I had a week left in Nashville after finishing my internship and all my final projects and I chose to spend it doing what I do best: watching TV and eating. I have become incredibly invested in How I Met Your Mother (please watch this clip of the best 30 seconds of television I have ever seen/an explanation of why the male race has anything to do with me), a sort of whacked out Friends-ish sitcom for the more cynical and promiscuous Aught generation (Did anyone else know the 2000's are most commonly referred to as the "Aughts?" Also, the "00s" and the "Naughties?" Apparently we're living in a decade suffering from an identity crisis), and since one of my best friends also wrapped up finals early and had plenty of time to invest in doing nothing, I had the chance to sample several new Nashville eateries. Lunch at The Yellow Porch was okay, lunch at 1808 Grille was awesome, dinner at Taco Mamacita was delicious, and drinks at The Patterson House were perfect for a date night/girls night out. My week of lounging and eating ended perfectly with a binge eating and drinking session with my best friends at our favorite, Sunset Grill, to fully purge every last cent of our Commodore Cash and reflect on the semester that just passed.

New York, NY: Though it took four bags, a layover and an obnoxiously long and pricey cab ride home from the airport (I hate cabs home from the airport and Mama B received a serious silent treatment for not greeting me at the gate), the second I got off the plane in New York, I remembered that my favorite thing about the city is how it all comes together during the holidays. Such thoughts were enhanced at a friends' "Jersey Shore Holiday Party" (God bless you, MTV), my grandparents' anniversary party (think three generations of Russians taking shots and dancing the Hora), and a day playing tourist with two of my favorite people (Low Point: the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree is smaller this year due to recession, purchasing socks at the Rockefeller Center GAP because ours were soaked through, High Point: Memphis: The Musical and the incredibly talented star, Montego Glover.

Stowe, VT: I survived the ski trip! And I actually enjoyed it. Thank you, plethora of spa treatments, attractive and talented ski instructors, and Mama and Papa Bogo. I managed to only have one near death experience in which I found myself on a slope that angled down approximately 70 degrees, sat down, promptly removed my skiis and walked/ran down chasing the one ski that fell out of my hand and would be found a quarter mile later casually resting by a rock. Stowe is an unbelievably cute town in which one can only find resorts, bed and breakfasts, general stores, glass blowing studios, and cheese/maple syrup shops and was a great escape from city life for a week. My parents managed to have a perfect Russian Orthodox Christmas Eve (hours of spa treatments, a four course Christmas dinner, and a sleigh ride through the woods) followed by a perfect American Jewish Christmas Day (skiing, Hibachi dinner, and movies in bed) and I'm headed home this morning.

That being said...The Jersey Shore. I don't think reality television has ever been this spot-on (sorry, Lauren). This show is beyond entertaining, beyond hilarious, and breaches all boundaries to pure genius. I have spent a mere four hours with the cast members of The Jersey Shore and I have never fallen in love/disgust quite so fast. Clearly my favorite is Snooki, the sloppy, shwasted, 4'10'' hybrid of an ethnic Barbie and one of those troll dolls with colorful tufts of hair and a rhinetstone in their bellybuttons. Over the course of the past four episodes, 21 year old New York native "Nicole" aka Snooki (me too me too!!) has managed to black out and make a complete fool of herself, pack up all her belongings to leave twice, get punched in the face by a fellow Jersey Shore club-goer, and describe to America that she "like, invented, the poof." She also has a fabulous collection of Von Dutch hats. As someone who also used to have a fabulous collection of Von Dutch hats (more details on my life as a thug/Guidette later, for further proof see the frat party costume box in my apartment), I feel like I relate to Snooki on many levels. If my parents had fed me mild rat poison instead of baby formula as a child, I'm sure we could understand each other thoroughly. Snooki has her very own You Tube channel. It is on my favorites tabs.

My second favorite character is "The Situation." The Situation is from Staten Island, aka, "How-the-hell-did-you-ever-become-a-borough-of-New-York-City-who-was-your-mayor-sleeping-with-your-entire-island-is-literally-built-on-a-garbage-landfill." Additionally, unlike the rest of the castmates, who are 21-23, ages at which you can do really dumb crap which you will laugh at later because you are either a)in college, or b)a bit of a life failure who never went but still college aged, The Situation is 27. Comparatively speaking, some other pop culture phenomenons who are aged 27 and younger: Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook. Chad Hurley, founder of YouTube. Kevin Rose, founder of Digg. The Jonas Brothers. Taylor freakin' Swift. The Situation is currently engaged in mad drama, yo, because his gurrrrrrrrl, Sammi Sweetheart, has been hooking up with his boy, DJ Pauly D**. Get your shit together, The Situation. How I adore watching train wrecks in action.

Judgement aside, The Jersey Shore airs every Thursday night. Because Thursdays are my favorite night out when I am at school, the roommates and I have invented a rather simple drinking game for watching. We have only played once, but the basic premise consisted of buying Jaager, Red Bull, and beer, and taking Jaager bombs every time hairgel, spray tanning, or spitting game was mentioned. The rest of that Thursday night was blurry. We hope to play again.

To everyone out there, Merry Christmas. Be safe. And please, pretty please, keep it klassy.

**It has been pointed out that Sammi Sweetheart is seeing not DJ Pauly D, but Ronni, who for some reason doesn't have a nickname. I am deeply sorry for this error on my television watching part and hope blog readers can forgive me.