Thing of the Day: Lady GaGa

First things first:

Today on the subway, an aptly sized Hispanic man stood directly over where I was sitting reading The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay (Pulitzer endeavor numero uno) and avidly prayed for the entirely of my 30 minute commute. Out loud. I made out "Jesus, Mary, Joseph, atone for your sins, lord and savior (does one who cares about being religiously PC capitalize lord and savior?) before I got off at my stop and he glared directly at me and repeated "atone to the (L?)ord"!

Now, I know that the most productive thing I did this weekend was learn that pizza bagels are a magnificent hangover cure, but c'mon, greater forces above. Was this really necessary? I plan on atoning today by giving one of six dollar coins (damn you, MetroCard machine) to the next homeless person I encounter. Maybe even the next two. I've gotta get rid of those things.

Since my weekend consisted of questionable life decisions, excessive carbohydrates, and one too many Pinot Grigios, I really have absolutely nothing respectable or interesting to report and would rather focus on things I am looking forward to. But before that. Lady Gaga.

Lady GaGa has made frequent appearances on both my Pandora and my Itunes ever since since "where are my keys I lost my phone" first made its way to my ears at some dirty frat dance floor. Who was this human who so shamelessly admitted her inappropriately drunk status ("I love this record but I can't see straight anymoreeeee"). I remained an avid fan despite a friend's revelation that she had gone to high school with GaGa (formerly known as Stefani Germanotta) and that she was not, as she states in interviews "a misfit and unpopular" but rather the most popular girl in her class and a rather hot thang. I think the high point in Stefani/LG and my relationship was when she debuted this hairdo, which i very desperately want to re-create in a significantly smaller size for my birthday (three weeks until I retire Lori from Tennessee foreverrrrrrr), but I think this time GaGa has taken it too far.

In an interview with a German news channel yesterday, she showed up wearing the above outfit. If you cannot make out the misshapen green blobs on her head and body, they are small reincarnations of Kermit the Frog. LG--excuse my French--but are you out of your F-ing mind?! Why are you wearing dozens of stuffed cartoon amphibians on your small frame? That is in no way attractive or, as you explain in the interview, "an art". Please cease taking psychedelic drugs immediately, your pupils are dilated and there is no way anyone is going to believe that you are not tripping in that getup.

That being said, the recently released video for Paparazzi is phenom. And I'd still totally be Lady GaGa's friend. Make it happen, NYC connections.

This week, I am looking forward to a free caviar and 2 for 1 champagne happy hour, another delicious Restaurant Week dinner at Blue Water Grill, a free concert featuring the wonderfully Hipster McHip Ted Leo + The Pharmacists with my wonderfully Hipster McHip roommate, finally visiting the PS1 Warmup, and another sunny (please)? Sunday on the beach. And I am especially looking forward into moving onto the Upper East Side on Friday with my best friend to "cat-sit for a friend" aka share a bed, cook each other heavily caloric meals, and watch hours of Law and Order: SVU.