Thing of the Day: Speed Dating

I know that I write about encounters on the subway rather frequently, but when you're coming from Brooklyn, you really come across all kinds. This morning's offenders:

1. A yuppie businessman who would have been almost too attractive if he hadn't been reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money--That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not...on his Kindle! This choice of commute self-help book would have been offensive enough had it come in original hardcover form, but in electronic version, it was almost nauseating. The rich teach their kids not to invest almost $400 in the Kindle. Read my blog instead.

2. An average, normal, non-gothic looking chick that had an "I <3 fangs" pin clipped to her otherwise totally normal outfit. Why, oh why, would you <3 fangs? I don't think I entirely get the vampire craze. Sure, I would follow Robert Pattinson around New York City and even to his scenes in New Jersey (crossing the GW bridge=true love, R.P) anyday, and yes, I avidly watch and obsess over True Blood (MaryAnn what the f are youuuuu), but that's because R.Patz is gorgeous, and True Blood is captivating. Not because I think that there is anything moderately attractive about sexual intercourse with the undead. I still tear up when I get my blood drawn, I do not need someone sucking it from my neck thank you very much. Why, oh why would you "<3 vampires?" They are pale and cold and can't even spend the day with you after sleeping over. Another classic case of nice girls being drawn to bad boys. Ladies, if the man needs to bite you to get off, he's just not that into you.

Subway delinquents aside, the real reason for this post. Speed dating. I don't know how my friend Cayla got on this subject, but as summer is quickly drawing to a close and I prepare to go back to my beloved Na$hville, I have realized that I will avidly miss New York wierdos. Nashville has its own brand of bizarre human, of course ("But what I really wanna do is sing country music"), but you never meet people who quite match the degree of strangeness you'll find in New York. And what better way to engage in meeting unusual and interesting people than via blind date? Or 30?

Amidst g-chatting our internships away (just kidding! I love my internship. And not just because someone in my office might be reading this, because its really a rather excellent place to work and (shameless self promotion, sorry) they let me write this awesome blog), Cayla and I somehow ended up Googling "speed dating NYC" and finding almost 3 million results. Among possible replacements for our usual happy hour next week:

1. Jewish Singles Speed Dating. I love Jews. I love the Village Pourhouse. I love complimentary beverages. And I get to "enjoy up to 15 5 minute dates!"

2. Hot or Not Speed Dating. Description: " Looks aren't everything, but initial attraction is definitely key to the beginning of any lasting relationship. Ever been to a speed dating event and upon arriving and giving the other daters a once-over, you've found yourself discreetly running out? We've built in a "quality control" element into this speed dating event. Interested daters MUST create a profile with a photo and join the event "waitlist" to be considered for approval. Disclaimer: This event is not for the "thin-skinned" and the only guarantee is that 3 out of 5 single judges found attendees submitted pictures to be attractive." Submitting our photos to this would probably be a good way to boost our self confidence. Or cause us to descend into a self-pitying black hole.

3. "Size Matters" Speed Dating for Tall Singles. Despite the fact that they will be "measuring at the door," this would be a really fun event to attend with our shorter friends. We are considering calling all of our tiniest amigas, putting them in their tallest shoes, and demanding admission.

4. 50 First Dates. At this event at M1-5 Lounge (I have never heard of M1-5 Lounge but their website is the horrible kind that places techno music as you try to find happy hour prices), we would have the chance to meet 50 people for 2 minutes each. Despite very seriously considering both the Speed Date a NY Fireman and Cougars&Cubs: Young Men and Older Women events, we decided this was probably the event for us for several reasons. Firstly--it will give us the chance to meet a maximum amount of New York wierdos. And secondly--2 minutes is just short enough for us to have a little fun with this. Over the course of the day, fellow g-chatters have come up with some excellent questions to ask our 2 minute dates. Some highlights:
-"If you could be one ninja turtle, which would you be?"
-"If you could perform any Harry Potter spell on a regular basis, which would you choose?"
-"If you were a cannibal and got the chance to eat any person, dead or alive, who would you choose?"

At $29 for event registration (includes a free drink) + the 4 or so paid drinks we will definitely need to consume (~$20 at happy hour), this experience could round out to one dollar even per bizarre encounter. I've certainly invested in worse.